Confronting Our Failures

I was sitting by myself a few days ago and started listening to some melonchony music. One was by Jackson Browne, These Days.
It reminded me of my more athletic days when I would hike the foothills by my home. I would hike mile after mile and would get caught up in self reflection as I listened to music. This line always made me think:
_Do not confront me with my failures,_
_I have not forgotten them._
I think we are all to familiar with our failures. At the time I was dropping weight and regretting the fact that I had waited so long to take the weight off. I would hike up to twenty miles on Saturday mornings and felt like I was on top of the world, but I also remembered a lot of my failures from the past. Those things that make you reflect, “What was I thinking!?!”
Now a few months after four years since my life altering surgery. I find myself without any energy, unable to do much of anything. I have gained most of my wieght back and am in the process of taking it back off. It will take a long time, but it took me four years to put it back on. I shouldn’t expect overnight suggestions. I watch the documentary, “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.” I also watched the second movie, part 2. I have gone to a mostly vegan lifestyle. The pounds are slowly coming off. I have lost about 15 lbs. Just a few months ago, I started having the feeling I wasn’t going to see seventy. I no longer feel that way. I feel healthier.
I just wish my energy would pick up. I have my own ideas. One of the side effects of my brain surgury is I suffered several brain stem strokes. It left me incapacitated. I literally could not eat, swallow, walk or talk when I woke up after 10 days. I had to start from scratch. I bounced back pretty quick with the exception of being tired all the time. I think, once again this my own opinion, that my brain stem has never fully recovered. The pituitary gland which governs so much of our hormones, sits atop the brain stem and I feel like mine was severly damaged. On my next trip to the doctor, I am going to have a serious discussion about this and see if I could be right.
When I first started having debilating headaches, the doctors thought at first I had a sinus infection, then the sent me for chiropratic adjustments. None of these informed guesses were right. It was the chiropractor who suggested that I needed to get imaging done. It wasn’t until then that the cause of my headaches, a couple of sub-dural hematomas were the real cause of the problem. I hope my doctor will hear me out and see if my pituitary gland was damaged.
Happy times for July, we will have family in town. It is always good to see them and we always have a ton of fun. We miss our out of town kids and wish we could see them more often, but it is what it is. We will take what we can get.
I also have a drone on it’s way here. I opted for the DJI Mavic Pro. It has gotten lots of good reviews and I am excited to have fun with it. I will take pictures and post them when the drone gets here.
Hope you are having a great summer. Say hi below if you are so inclined. I’d also be interested to hear your opinions about drones.

_Hang in there and I will too!_

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