Monthly Archives: April 2017

My Buddy Mark

My buddy Mark always gave me a bad time about my musical taste. It’s time for a rebuttal! He used to think that Canned Heat was the Beans and Weenies that he would bring on Scout camp.
He also thought that Bread sang, “I Found Her Diarrhea Underneath The Tree. ”
He thought the Doobie Brothers became much better when Micheal McDonald joined them. His hit, Minute by Minute being one of them. He said The Captain and Me was a complete failure as an album. China Grove and Long Train Running hurt his sensitive ears and would have been Side B on a Minute By Minute release .
Disco music was a great discovery for Mark. He still enjoys blasting Bee Gees in the garage and starts dancing like no one is watching. The neighbors have had to call the police three times when he had the door up. Somebody was watching!
Whenever “What’s Going On?” plays he will answer, “Not much how about you?”
Once I hadn’t seen Mark for days. I went to his house where he asked if he would die from suffocation if he let go of his favorite Air Supply album.
He would always sing “Goodbye Girl” to his cat every time he left the house.
He listened to Oliver once and he went in the house and told his Mom, “Gliddy glub gloopy, nibby nabby noopy la, la, la, lo, lo
Sabba sibby sabba, nooby abba nabba, le, le, lo, lo
Tooby ooby walla, nooby abba naba
Early morning singing song”. She promptly slapped his face and washed his mouth out with soap.
He once slept by the toilet with a flashlight after he heard the song, “She came in Through the Bathroom Window.”
One day I saw him after school and his face was bright red. “Mark. What happened?!?”, I said. ’The girls didn’t like me grabbing their hands and me singing, “I Want To Hold Your Hand. If it’s good enough to sing on the radio, why doesn’t it work in the real world?”, he complained.
When I asked him if he wanted to go to the Doors concert, he went over to the entrance to his bedroom and stared at the door for two hours!
I asked if he wanted to go see Santana he told me that he hadn’t taken any Spanish classes and wouldn’t understand what they were singing about.
He was down in his room listening to Stevie Wonder with sunglasses on in the dark, I asked him why. He said he wanted to know what is was like for Stevie, besides “When you’s cool, the sun shines on you all the time!”
And to think Mark felt the need to make fun of my music. Mystifying!